I Know what it is Like
by Tony Bianco

I Know what it is Like to Feel the simple Pleasures and see the real beauty in this world.
I Know what it is Like to Feel truly loved and cared for.
I Know what it is Like to not only Laugh and smile, but to genuinely make others do so as well.
I Know what it is Like to be a real Father.
I Know what it is Like to Love, care for and raise children.
I Know what it is Like to feel for doing good deeds.
I Know what it is Like to fear and to be feared.
I Know what it is Like to fly in the sky and sail on the seas.
I Know what it is Like to make Acquaintances and friends from all walks of life.
I Know what it is Like to be a Leader and to be dedicated.
I Know what it is Like to Win battles.
I Know what it is Like to Lose battles.
I Know what it is Like to make mistakes.
I Know what it is Like to take chances and win.
I Know what it is Like to take chances and lose.
I Know what it is Like to Work in some of the most grueling of places.
I Know what it is Like to have very little handed to you and have to work hard for everything.
I Know what it is Like to Scrimp most of the time and do without.
I Know what it is Like to have no help and most times having to do everything yourself.
I Know what it is Like to give good advice and real information and not be listened to and sometimes even laughed at.

I Know what it is Like to be at the top of the world one day and then at the very bottom the next.
I Know what it is Like to be Misjudged.
I Know what it is Like to be Disregarded like trash.
I Know what it is Like to be put down and mistreated for doing nothing wrong.
I Know what it is Like to be Cheated, used and abused, over and over again.
I Know what it is Like to Fight for something important and right, only to lose again.
I Know what it is Like to be Defamed, cheated and left to die by those who were supposed to be upholding the laws and giving help.
I Know what it is Like to be highly Respected and honored and then have it all taken away because of doing what you believed was the right and honest.
I Know what it is Like to be Cheated on and left out in the cold from the one you loved.

I Know what it is Like to Lose Loved Ones.
I Know what it is Like to Watch a loved one suffer and then die before your very eyes.
I Know what it is Like to Lose a Son and to never again be blessed with another.
I Know what it is Like to go through life Watching and envying other fathers and sons enjoying their relationships together.
I Know what it is Like to Lose those you loved more than anything in this world.

I Know what it is Like to be confused and disoriented.
I Know what it is Like to temporarily lose your hearing.
I Know what it is Like to constantly have ringing in both ears, with the pitch rising to a devastating loudness at times.
I Know what it is Like to lose the ability to walk.
I Know what it is Like to be consistently off balance.
I Know what it is Like to Hunger and go without and not just food, but many things.
I Know what it is Like to have Food Poisoning and no medical attention.
I Know what it is Like to be Sufficated to the point of near death.
I Know what it is Like to be Bullied, pushed around and mistreated.
I Know what it is Like to be pounded on and have your Neck bronken by the one you loved.
I Know what it is Like to be paralyzed and lying in the cold snow for hours.
I Know what it is Like to be paralyzed and left lying on the ground in the midst of a thunderstorm for hours.
I Know what it is Like to temporarily Lose your eye sight and become totally blind.
I Know what it is Like to be in auto accidents, both while in a car, truck and motorcyle and not just once.
I Know what it is Like to be Beat up, stabbed by a knife, cut up and have bones broken.
I Know what it is Like to have your head smashed so bad that the blood gushed out and filled the room making it look like there had been a bloody massacre.
I Know what it is Like to be run over and have your hand smashed.
I Know what it is Like to Experience close death encounters and not have anyone around to help you.
I Know what it is Like to have many Dire Occasions when death seemed imminent.

I Know what it is Like to be the one who took the extra effort and accomplished what others would not, only to have the credit go to another.
I Know what it is Like to find out that the one who was closest to your heart, whom you placed all your trust and love in, did not truly love you.
I Know what it is Like to be Disrespected, let down, shut out, put down and even abused, by the same one you did everything for and gave all your love to.

I Know what it is Like to Work very hard for many years, only to have it all taken away.
I Know what it is Like to Watch the ones you love, want and need, go to others who could truly care less about them and be helpless to do a thing about it.
I Know what it is Like to have real true friends and then to lose them to death.
I Know what it is Like to have people you were very close too and called your best friends for many years, not only walk out of your life, but shun you out of theirs.
I Know what it is Like to have a Medication take every desire away at the same time you were in so much physical pain and anguish, that ending it all felt right.

I Know what it is Like to Feel Abandoned, all alone and have no one.
I Know what it is Like to be truly lost.

I Know what it is Like to Live every single day and for many years, trying to hide your pain and faking the smiles.
I Know what it is Like to constantly push yourself, not because you want to, but because you have to.
I Know what it is Like to pray, trust and believe in God for needed help for over ten years and never getting any answer, only more pain and troubles.

I Know what it is Like to Not Give up, even when it seemed all hope has passed by.
I Know what it is Like to be a true Survivor in some of the harshest times.


I Know what many things are like, there is not that much that I haven't experienced first hand and less that I can not relate to.
Out of all the Good things that mean something there is only one very important and yet natural one that I do not know.
And as Time goes by the chance becomes less that this will, or can ever happen!
Some have Stated that I am lucky to even be alive, alone walking and talking.
And Others have even said that I was blessed.
But With all these past years of pain, suffering and anguish, it is hard for me to see any luck, or blessing in it!
I can not Complain because I have experienced much in life and yet I can never be truly happy, or content, because my life will never be fulfilled without that one thing!



My Opinions, Advice and Philosophy:

There is No meaning, or great purpose to this life, but there truly is another life after this.
But it is so much Different that even in our widest imaginations, our minds still can not comprehend it.
For Those who get to experience it and then retain the memory in their concious mind, it is like looking at a faded picture of a far away place.
The Memory may be clear, but you still only have that short and slight glimpse, which does not show that existence in an entire way.

I Use to Believe that there was some good in all people.
But in Everyone I have met through life, there were two who while they smiled and talked gently, when I looked in their eyes I not only shivered in an unexplainable fear, but felt something very evil in them.
Does this Mean that they have done, or will be doing something very bad, or does it mean something more mysterious and mystique.
It was if Their Soul was totally corrupt and evil, or that they had no soul at all!
In my Teenage days there were two times I had a bad experience while experimenting with a mind altering drug.
The One was so very frightful that I swore off anything like that ever since.
I never had that type of fearful feeling from anything since, except for when I met these two others.
And I was Not on any medication, drug, or had been previously, when I met them.
It was Like the Devil himself were standing right in front of me, a fear of the highest degree that you could imagine.
Normally and even when I am not feeling so well, I like to befriend and talk to a person, even if only a little.
But With these two it had taken everything I had to be nice while trying to quickly end the conversation and leave.
I have always been a bit of an explorer and scientist, one who likes to know, but those two times I was totally out of context!
As Crazy as it may sound, it was like my spirit was pushing me away and telling me that I did not really want to know those persons at all.
Throughout my Life I have met and talked with criminals, murderers and others who had been deemed as very bad people.
And in All of them I had felt none, to very little evil in them.
In Fact, I have met people in society, even in highly regarded positions, who were respected and even honored, that I got a worse feeling from than I had from those criminals.
An old Friend of mine many years ago, Skip, use to say I was over trusting of others.
At the Time I denied it, but later through life experiences I found that he was not only right, but realized that this was a nature of mine.
But even While I realized this and tried hard not to be, there was a time or two that I was caught off guard again.
Anyway, I Know that there are a lot of bad people out there and some very bad and questioning if there is some good in everyone is really immaterial.
If something, or Someone doesn't seem, or feel right, this doesn't mean that they are all bad, but it does mean you better beware!

Life is too Short to waste, but it is also too precious to do foolish acts that can effect you badly for the rest of your life.
Before you Give in to lust, greed, desire, curiosity, or temptation, think long and hard of how it can effect your future.
And If you are not in the state of mind to really give it some good thought in a serious manner, don't give in, wait until you gave it real thought.
Many Lives have been lost with left to live in years of pain, agony and despair, all because of rash decisions and giving in.
A short and seemingly harmless Act, could turn out to be an everlasting life of despair.
And some Times that life of despair may not only be yours, but others as well!
Don't be the Big Fool and say "So What," "Oh Well," or "Who Cares."
And Don't think for a minute that just because you may not care at the time, that you will not in the future.
Just as everything Changes, not everything can be fixed, taken back, replaced, or even forgiven.
To Do what is right is to respect yourself and if you can't do that then don't expect anyone else to respect you!
If it were not for a person to be able to control their self, then we would be nothing, have nothing and learn nothing!
And to really be Able to control your self, you must not only respect the elements around you, but also respect yourself.
It is All a part of the thought process, which means taking the time until you can understand the outcome, or possible consequence.
You could be in Denial and reject what I am saying, but remember this, if your are breathing and have the ability to read this, then it is elementary that somewhere along the line you cared!
I Know how hard it can get at times and swear that you do not care, but that is only for the moment and not forever, unless we do something rash and make it that way.

They Say that "Time Heals all wounds."
But I know that some wounds are very deep and needs more than time to heal, they also need the proper attention!

They Say that "Life is what you make it," but that is not entirely true!
You do Have to try to do and to do the right things in order to have any chance at anything.
But just as you are not a single element in the universe, everything around you can be affected and also the other elements effect you.
Most of these Sayings were made to help us believe, so that we would try.
Everything needs some sort of motivation to exist!
Motivation is the Reason for the action.

Life is Not and never has been easy for anyone.
And most Times it only gets harder.
But That does not mean that it has to get worse, or even bad.

You can not always Have what you want, or even what you need, no matter how hard you try.
But if you don't Try anything you will have nothing and if you try the wrong thing you could end up dead, or even worse!

In Life there is no true guarantee of anything, only greater likelihoods!

It is not Worth it to make a mountain out of a molehill, to worry, quarrel and waste your time over little things.
And to Know what is Important and what are the big things, you have to have your priorities right.
The First thing in having your priorities right is realizing that life comes before inanimate objects.
The Second thing for a human being in having your priorities right is knowing that human life is foremost.
These are nothing more than logical, normal and natural equations for a human.
You might be Able to make some right from wrong judgements, but you can not truly understand right from wrong until you know those two things.
That is Where many fall short, they believe they know this, but then let such feelings like anger and jealousy become greater.
As Human beings, to do the right things in life we must always feel the first and second priorities the strongest.
And I Know how hard that can be at times, but that is where the thought, control and restraint comes in.

There is Not as much help out there as some would have you believe.
But if you do not Ask and seek, chances are you will never get any help.
And Still there is no guarantee that no matter what you do that you will find any help.
Life is really all about Chance, but you can increase that chance if you try and do it the right way!

Even When in a certain circumstance, everyone has personal differences and different surroundings.
So, what might work for one person in a given time, does not mean that it will work for another.
This Brings you back to the no true guarantee scenario.
Without any Knowledge you could still get lucky, but the chances fall more in your favor with more Knowledge.
Again this is nothing more than a simple equation, one which most understand in some degree.
But it is Also a way of showing how I, or anyone else, can not be able to tell you everything!

No One knows it all but the "Know it All" and he is just a fool, because what he knows is meaningless!

The Best thing is not to let yourself be fooled by first appearances, or by the remarks and praises of others!
Never Let looks, sly words, or compliments take you off guard.
It is all About keeping an open mind while not rushing into anything and mentally learning as much as you can before doing.
Don't put your trust in anyone you do not know to a degree of certainty, unless your life depends on it.
Some will Say "Not to trust anyone" and the Bible even states "Don't Trust your left hand from your right!"
The Key is to be Cautious and try your best not to let anyone fool you.
Learn from your Experiences, but don't judge anyone by one good, or bad experience.

A couple Good Tips to follow, is to stay away, or walk away from pushy people.
Don't take any serious actions, or steps, unless you have a clear head and use sincere thought first.
If you Want to be truly cared for by a certain person, then make sure that person truly cares for you.
And if that Person truly cares for you, they will go out of their way and wait for you.
It may Sound a bit old fashioned, but if a man truly loves and cares for a woman, then while it should upset him, he will honor and respect her and wait to have an intimate affair with her until they are married.
And in my many Years of experience, it is better to wait at least a few months to see what happens.
If he Fails you even once, then it is a good chance of it recurring.
And Since woman are equals, it would stand to logic that the same apply to their gender.
No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but it should also be understood that when a person truly loves another with all their heart, that they will and do sacrifice everything for them.
But, on the same hand you should Understand that if the one does not love you to that degree, then they are not worth for you to love them as much either.
Usually though, we can not readily turn our love off, or down and in most circumstances with relationships, one has the true love and left hurting very much.
Many Times because of this, it not only waste many years of a persons life, where they spent in much pain because of it, but sometimes it takes a good persons life away completely.
So whether it Sounds a bit old fashioned, or not, it is not just wise, but essential, to do some kind of act in this manner, to help ensure your happiness!
Most Times, especially when you have the desires, it is not always easy to give up that which you crave, or enjoy the most, but it is very possible when you have true love!
It is a bit like a Test and like a test you must make it a little surprising and unexpected to work.
And if you Do Not want to, or care to, then realize this when you are stuck suffering the consequences.
Because the Day will come when you do suffer and many times that is very painful and even devastating.
And even if You are the one without the true heart, you could leave the other person devastated.
In either Case, you, them, or the both of you could wind up in years of serious pain, or even death.
It is very Real and very serious and it happens every single day!

And if for some stupid Reason you do not think that your life is not that important, then come see me.